I learned something new today

So my Lenten commitment is going.....well? Mmm hmm, I'm asking the opinion of the unknowing inter-blogs because I can't be confident in my efforts.

It's been going that well.

Today was the day that I had to make it look at least somewhat presentable. It still looks like people live here, well, because we do, but it doesn't look so much like pigs live here anymore.

Ian had to be at work at 5 p.m tonight and I enjoyed a nap for about an hour during Hazel's afternoon nap. I knew I was in for a long night, so I wanted to be sure that I was rested up. (Plus, I like a good nap here and there anyway.) Hazel woke up at about 4:30 and after I fed her, I put her back in her crib to play while I re-organized (see also: came out of denial and removed newborn clothing from her drawers) her clothes. She happily cooed and played while I worked away. She was so content and cooperative. I tried to take full advantage.

Then I kept working in different rooms, and I began to slowly, unknowingly, take for granted her willingness to play independently. I worked and talked to her while she began to whine a little more. Eventually it came to a full-on cry and I had to stop what I was doing to calm her down.

But I had so much to do....

As I began to read a book to her, I realized we are long past the days where pretty much just her physical needs are to be met. (of course, with the exception of physical touch and affection) Hazel was begging me to play with her. She had all the toys she could want, but she wanted human interaction. She wanted her mama's undivided attention.

I had a lot to get done. But as I read a 6 page story to her, suddenly I was asking myself, 'how is Hazel Joy going to know just how special she is if her own mama can't put the laundry down and play with her'?

Uhgg! Hurts so good. What a feeling of guilt.

What a great learning experience.

Thank you God for convicting me to clean house, and thank you for opening my eyes to see my girls heart. Thank you for loving us and offering grace when we fail to see the gifts before us.