How Do I Live Out God's Will?

I'm not sure if I have ever told people this story, maybe Ian, but I'm afraid it sounds too much like a cliche' dating story and less like a "God thing" and I don't want to ever get the two confused or misinterpreted as one being like the other. It's too special to me. But I think I'll tell it now. Here. On the world-wide-web.

I was 16ish on a youth group retreat and Ian was debuting his new lime green transparent guitar. I had been trying unsuccessfully to hide a mad crush on him. It was even more difficult when the guy shows up like a rock star with a guitar dawning my recently claimed favorite color, at a church retreat, singing songs about Jesus and um, other things when we all thought adults weren't listening. What's a girl to do, huh??

But he was younger than me and it was weird. So I pretended to like other guys thinking I was hiding the fact that I actually liked the Keith Richards of youth group.
One night, while we were waiting for worship to start, Ian was standing up in front of the group and preparing to lead us. I was taking in the atmosphere of being on retreat. It was always fun. But in a moment that I can't really explain, I had a "feeling" or a "sense" come over me? To be honest, I don't know what it was. It wasn't a voice I heard like some people say they hear. It was more of a peaceful calm. But in that moment, I knew Ian was my future husband.

See, I know what it looks like. It looks like I was holding a "marry me" sign screaming my brains out at a Jonas Brothers concert. But I assure you, it wasn't like that. We didn't starting dating for quite some time. We were babies and I for sure was not going to tell my high school boyfriend, "so hey, we're getting married."

For a long time, I filed that moment away and forgot about it. I know there was at least one person praying for my future husband, whoever it was going to turn out to be, but for the most part, I forgot to add that to my checklist each night. Admittedly, it wasn't a priority at the time.

I cherish that moment today because it was on some level foretelling what was to come just as much as I was completely clueless as to what it meant. Because, I shrugged my shoulders and probably made some obnoxious, unrelated, teenage girl statement that haunted me for years there after.

I wish my writing were more eloquent so that I could give the story justice. It's not meant to romanticize a completely un-romantic couple. There's no hope there. But I can give glory where glory is due. I am blessed with an amazingly talented partner that could have taken his talents and ran the other way. But he chose to run to his Maker, praising His name the whole way.

Yesterday at a men's retreat he was encouraged, affirmed and loved. At the end, he was given a song book and told to show up and play with the worship team today. The makings of a good day, for sure.

So today he showed up, and Ian came alive. He's generally a happy guy, but I have not seen him quite like this in a few months. My heart was glad. His heart was glad. I can't speak for Ian's experiences today, but I can say that all those feelings stemming from watching my husband stand before us and sing his heart out in praise came flooding back. I am blessed. The whole time I was sitting there thanking God for this day. As two shy people that showed up one Sunday, reluctant to join a small group and pretty comfy just showing up in the pew, we are making friends that feel more like a NY family. We are blessed.

Not to mention all the people that encouraged Ian after the worship leader introduced him to the congregation, looked at him and said, "You lead this song."

Attempting to hide a big smile, Ian rose to the challenge.

Some prayers are still on the unanswered list, but for sure I know now that we are living a life that attempts to follow God's will. We just want to love God by loving others. Server Him by serving others, trust what we can't see and for Ian, play, sing, sing and sing.

So, a "God thing," or what?