How does one 'figure themselves out?' That's about the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. So says the college educated-barista. But that's beside the point. I'm 25, have been uprooted 3,000 miles away from anything remotely familiar, I have the same job I've been doing since I started college and don't have any idea on God's green earth of what next week will bring, let alone what a 5 year plan would bring. But heaven help me, I love it here.
There is so much about this place that makes it feel like it's temporary. Like, I don't have a job that I can't get anywhere else in the world, we don't have a reason to be here beyond culinary school and we have but a fleeting two year lease in what seems to be Jack Hanna's summer home. And yet, Wednesday will bring Bread of Life at our church with our small group and Thursday hiking in the Catskills with girls from work that have turned out to be some of the funnest people to know.
I'm stuck between deciding to paint the walls and make a rental a home and having one foot out the New York door. Everything secure and sure-fired is where we began, but everything that I like about who I am today is where I find the most insecure of places. Complicated, to say the least. But I guess none of us would say that we are glad to still be the person we were even a year ago. That would mean no growth has occurred. Even though I live out on a limb here, I like the New York Katelyn. She's a bit riskier than the Washington Katelyn and has had to learn to trust and she's even a bit sassier than the orig. She's even learned to use the horn to push drunk drivers off the road. She's basically a vigilante. Out to save the world.
I love my friends, my church, my life out in the middle of no where, but my future is not here. That makes me sad when I think about the life I am building here, but I couldn't learn to live life for today if I didn't make a trek to be where I am for today. Life just works that way. It sucks, but it is oh so sweet when you remember to take it all in, taste it, drink it and learn to be where you are and cherish the moment.
Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who hopes in Him. Psalm 34:8
You keep making me cry as I watch you grow..and I am SOOO proud of you(and Ian)! We love you and I know God does too.
ReplyDeleteToday is always bittersweet. Because no matter how joyous or sorrowful it may be, it is only a taste of what tomorrow can hold. I know you both will continue to build a life you love together out there. Just know that your family and friends will be waiting here with open arms should your path lead back to Washington. We love you both so very much!
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