Must Get Something Off My Chest

If you've followed this blog at all, you'll know that I am a new, first time mom. Ian and I have embarked on the most heart-warming, loving, frustrating, awesome, scary, (insert 100,000,000 more descriptives here) journey of our lives. Everything is new to us. Everything in our daily lives is something we must get accustomed to, only to find out the next day that it's changed and we need to adapt to the new normal for that day. Yes. This is life. And yes, this is life with a new baby.

But please, allow us and other new parents to make our journey through this time without your rolling eyes, and your "that's no big deal" attitude. It's rude, not helpful and not uplifting in the least bit. Especially if you've never done this.

On a daily basis, I rely on instincts to get me to the next hour. As the mom, I know when she's hungry, when she's lonely, and when she's tired. I know what to do in those instances and how to make my girl happy, and comfortable again. But not everything is that easy.

The last few weeks, Hazel Joy's spitting up has been a source of frustration for both her and me. She spits up crazy amounts of fluid for the first hour after feeding, every time she eats. Every time. She seems like she's in pain while waiting for those pesky bubbles to come back up. Every mom wants a happy baby. It breaks my heart to see that she can't be comfortable after each meal. Especially when it's 6-8 times a day, for an hour each time.

I went through the natural fear that every mom goes through, worrying that she wasn't getting enough to eat. Her diapers are full and she's gaining weight, so luckily, this is not an issue. Now for 3 of the last 5 weeks of her life, I've been trying to figure out if the problem comes from the speed at which she is getting the milk, or if it's her bodies reaction to the foods that I'm eating.

I would like to avoid cutting out dairy, wheat, soy, acidic fruits and vegetables, coffee, and chocolate. I have to wonder, what is left to eat with that kind of list if you're trying to keep a well balanced diet and maintain energy throughout the day? The failure and guilt you feel when you've decided to cut out dairy and then realize there was cheese on that sandwich you had the night before is frustrating as well. I've exhausted all expert advise from the lactation consultant and am left frustrated and defeated.

To add to the frustration is the laundry and time spent after each feeding trying to get her to burp and waiting out the hour long spit fest before I can change her clothes. Because changing her any sooner than that will result in a re-enactment of the morning's activity of going through 3 outfits before I can even get her buttoned up. So, I wait. She's kept elevated as I continuously pat her back day in and day out. I'm well aware of how easily spit up milk washes out because of the asinine amounts of laundry both she, Ian and I go through as a result of this conundrum.

All this to say that this new mama, like every other new and seasoned mama, needs encouragement. Not unsolicited advice. Not "it's not so bad." Encouragement. Because I can assure you that in the midst of every frustration, there is still an infinite amount of love for this baby coming from a defeated mama who spends 8 hours of her day feeding her baby and another 8 hours sitting with her baby, night and day, cleaning the spit-up that is causing intestinal turmoil in her most precious and loved gift from God.

Encouragement is all this mama needs. Thankyouverymuch.

Now for perspective. Praise God that we have a healthy baby and it's 16 hours a day worrying about spit-up and not a serious health problem. I can look at other families who spend 24/7 in a children's hospital and know how blessed we are. I pray that I never lose sight of that.

This season in our lives is just a reminder of how we should spend our time and our words encouraging, and uplifting each other. If a new mom talks to you about how sleep deprived she is, rather than offer the "at least (insert annoying one-upper here)", instead, love on her. Tell her you'll pray for her. There is a whole world full of problems out there and it's easy for a mom and or dad to feel as though their whole world has resolved to cleaning spit-up. As an outsider looking in, just know that the reality to them is that it hasn't. This is already a broken world. Let's be loving and sensitive to one another.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.